BY BRIGITTE MARS, AHG, AND CHRYSTLE FIEDLER

It has been said that “what soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.”

An essential part of living more harmoniously and happily is learning how to deal with and accept loss: how to let go, recover, and ultimately move on.

Grief is a necessary part of our lives. It helps us appreciate what is important and teaches us to be present in the moment, rather than taking all the people and experiences in our lives for granted. But the road from loss to healing and life afterward can be bumpy. These natural remedies can help.

The Effect of Grief on the Body

When you are grieving, your heart rate, blood pressure, hydrochloric acid production, and adrenaline levels rise. You might experience a sensation of numbness, pain along the breastbone, sinus congestion, and broken, spasmodic breathing, where you sob easily.

Chronic grief may be a contributing factor to heart disease and arteriosclerosis. It can also lead to a weakened immune system.

Grief—The Traditional Chinese Medicine Perspective

In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), the metal element, associated with the lungs and large intestines, is connected to the emotion of grief. Sadness is said to cause a depletion of chi, chronic fatigue, and susceptibility to lung problems.

According to TCM, there are four forms of sorrow:

• Grievous sorrow, which may cause you to break out into loud tears.

• Mournful sorrow, where you cry quietly, shedding many tears.

• Depressive sorrow, where you may not shed tears but show sorrow in your face.

• Angry sorrow, where you may want to cry but lack tears and are unable to make a sound—sorrow embodies anger, and anger embodies sorrow.

Nutritional Therapy

Foods that can support us during times of grief include green and orange foods, such as violet leaf, dandelion, kale, collards, carrots, sweet potatoes, and winter squashes, as they support the lungs and large intestines, which can become more vulnerable when we are grief-stricken.

Celery helps comfort the pangs of a broken heart. Pungent spices, such as clove, coriander, and ginger, can help clear lung stagnation.

Supplements for Well Being

Craving carbohydrates during periods of grief may be the body’s attempt to elevate serotonin levels. Instead, try the supplement 5-HTP, which helps your body to make its own serotonin. GABA can help relieve cravings, including not just cravings for particular foods but the desire to have a person who cannot be in our lives the way we would like.

The amino acid tyrosine may help elevate moods by increasing dopamine levels.

The vitamin B complex is a great ally during times of emotional distress, including grief.

Healing Herbs

Herbs can be a great comfort during times of grief. Calming the nervous system through nourishing herbs, such as hops, lemon balm, and passionflower, can be highly beneficial during times of grief. Saint John’s wort is good to use when you are worn out from sobbing; motherwort is a soothing remedy for grief.

For sorrow arising from heartbreak, try this formula, which contains herbs that have long been used in folk medicine for their heartache healing qualities: two parts hawthorne, two parts lemon balm, one part motherwort, and one part violet (also known as “heartsease,” for good reason).

Homeopathy

Homeopathic remedies that can be helpful for easing grief include the following:

• Causticum: May be of benefit if you cry frequently or are experiencing forgetfulness and mental dullness.

• Ignatia: For grief, loss, and hysteria, or if you sigh and can’t sleep. You may be nervous and shake. You strongly identify with the person lost and feel you cannot exist without them. Use for disappointment in love or death.

• Natrum muriaticum: When you dwell on the past, hold grudges, and reject sympathy. For the death and loss of a loved one. When you have not been the same since your loss and are becoming withdrawn, and not living life to the fullest.

• Pulsatilla: When you are sad, yielding, indecisive, and weepy. You need to be with other people. Use for anxiety following bad news.

Flower Essences

Some helpful flower essences include the following:

• Bleeding Heart: For grief related to the loss of or separation from a loved one. Helps foster peace and detachment.

• Borage: Use when you are discouraged during times of grief. Helps lift your spirits and gives you courage.

• Hawthorn: Gives protection during periods of intense grief and stress.

• Honeysuckle: Use when you have made no steps toward recovery, even months after the loss of a loved one. You are living in the past.

• Mustard: For deep gloom that comes on strong, then suddenly leaves. You may cry without knowing why.

• Pear: For extreme grief or emergencies that throw you off balance.

• Star of Bethlehem: For great physical shock and trauma, such as rape, injury, robbery, and accidents. It can be used when you are having a difficult time coping with the death of a pet or loved one.
  
  Dr. Edward Bach called this essence “the comforter and soothing of pains and sorrows.”

Aromatherapy

Soaking in the bathtub can be a good place to let the tears flow. Add any of the following essential oils, all of which are dispellers of grief.

Lemon balm essential oil is a good choice for heartbreak over a love relationship.

When you’re done bathing, let the water drain out while you are still in the tub, and visualize your sorrow and sadness going down the drain and being healed by the earth. Afterward, massage diluted essential oil (8oz sunflower oil with 30 drops of essential oil) over your heart and lungs. Or use the oils in a diffuser, or simply take up to ten deep inhalations directly from the bottle.

Mind-Body Therapies and Practices

Grief can be held in our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. The following are various methods for processing and releasing grief, and taking the next steps towards healing.

Get It Out—Let It Go

It is healthier to express grief than to suppress it. The force of grief is constrictive, and expressing it and crying helps clear repression, thus purifying us.

Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, helping clear not just the psyche but also the body and promoting a feeling of calm and relief from pain in the aftermath. If the tears won’t come and you feel they might help heal your grief, there is a technique that can help.

Groan It Out

Groaning is also a method you can use to help dissipate sadness and pain. While groaning, think of the reasons for your suffering. When you exhale, visualize sorrow being exhaled from your being.

Let the Sun Shine

You can also release grief by standing facing the rising sun, and allowing its rays to beam onto your heart. Visualize the sun healing your grief while you breathe deeply, and the sorrow leaving your heart with each exhalation.

Write it Out

When going through grief, such as divorce, loss of a relationship or job, and the like, make a list of one hundred reasons why this life change might be positive or leave you better off than before.

At first, the task may be difficult; you may only be able to come up with a few reasons, such as having more time to yourself and not having to XYZ. But over time, the list may grow, and it may even grow to over one hundred reasons.

Recognizing the silver lining can be a powerful healing technique.

Writing About Loss

If you are grieving a death or loss of love, it can be very therapeutic to write about it:

1. Start with when you met or your earliest memories, what your feelings, impressions, and expectations were.

2. Write out a few of the most memorable moments and events together.

3. Write about how you benefited each other.

4. Make a list of what you have learned from this person or relationship.

5. Write down what you miss about your loved one and perhaps even what bothered you about them.

6. Give your writing a title, make it a story in the book of your life.

Practical Tips for Healing from Grief

Take care of yourself. As you recover, be sure to get plenty of rest. Enjoy massages if possible. Connect with nature and take walks.

Practice deep, slow breathing. Use your breath to cleanse the emotions of grief.

Exercise. Use movement to raise dopamine levels.

Surround yourself with love. Call or have over a few of your best friends or closest family, and allow them to cheer you up. Seek out those who want to see you happy. The loving support of friends and family members can be a blessing.

Clean up and clear out your house. Utilize feng shui to create a harmonious space. Burn some sage or artemisia to clear toxic emotions. It helps to have order in your life when you feel out of control.

Grief support. Find a local grief support group by searching “grief support + your zip code” or visit: https://find.griefshare.org/find.

Travel. When you feel better, consider traveling to a new place. Travel can help heal the heart and give you a new perspective.

Wear and visualize violet. This color can help you heal from grief.

Wear rose quartz. Sleep with it in your hand, and your dreams may have a healing effect upon your heart.

Turn your energy toward something new. Develop talents. Work on personal growth. Take a class. Read self-help books. Learn a new language. Volunteer if time permits.

Pray. Ask for spiritual guidance.

Time is a great healer. You will heal, and it helps to make a conscious decision to do so. Remember that setbacks are part of the process.

You may feel that you have healed and then have a bad day where the pain of loss is as intense as ever. This is normal and a sign that healing is happening. You are letting go of the past to make room for something new.

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Brigitte Mars, AHG, an herbalist and nutritional expert for more than fifty years, is a founding member of the American Herbalists Guild and teaches herbal medicine at Naropa University. An international lecturer, she is the author of several books, including Addiction-Free Naturally, and the creator of the app iPlant. She lives in Boulder, Colorado. To learn more about Brigitte’s work, visit: https://brigittemars.com/.

Chrystle Fiedler is the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Natural Remedies and the Natural Remedies Mystery series. She has contributed to dozens of publications, including USA Today, Woman’s Day, Prevention, Mother Earth Living, and Spirituality & Health. She lives in St. Augustine, Florida. To learn more about her work, visit: https://www.chrystlefiedlerbooks.com/.

Well Being Journal adapted the above excerpt from Natural Remedies for Mental and Emotional Health by Brigitte Mars and Chrystle Fiedler. Copyright © by Brigitte Mars and Chrystle Fiedler. Printed with permission of Healing Arts Press, a division of Inner Traditions International.