BY PATRICK MCKEOWN

Ever find yourself waking up at 3 a.m. with your mind running in circles? You’re not quite awake enough to get up and start your day, but you’re also not sleepy enough to drift back to sleep.

It’s almost as if you’re stuck in limbo—just lying there while your brain decides it’s the perfect time to go over every little detail of your life.

Nighttime—when there are no distractions—is when the brain loves to replay every conversation, worry about things that haven’t happened yet, or remind you of something embarrassing you did ten years ago.

Of course, poor sleep doesn’t just affect the night—it spills over into the next day. We wake up feeling groggy, more stressed, and less focused. We’re more likely to overthink during the day, and that same restless thinking follows us right back to bed at night.

And so, the cycle continues.

So many people struggle with sleep, whether it’s trouble falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, or rising too early. But we rarely stop to consider what’s actually keeping us awake. More often than not, the real culprit isn’t the body—it’s the mind.

If you see your doctor because you’re struggling to sleep, there’s a good chance you’ll leave with a prescription for sleeping pills.

In 2020, the National Center for Health Statistics found that 8.4 percent of adults in the United States took sleep medication most nights to help them fall or stay asleep. Women were more likely than men to rely on sleep aids—10.2 percent compared with 6.6 percent. And as people got older, their use of sleep medication increased.

Many sleeping pills, like Xanax, Valium, and Ambien, work by boosting GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), a calming neurotransmitter. GABA slows brain activity, reduces stress and anxiety, and promotes relaxation, making it easier to drift off to sleep. Essentially, these pills work by slowing down thinking and calming the mind.

These numbers paint a clear picture: millions of people are struggling with sleep, and for many, the solution is a pill rather than addressing the root cause. Wouldn’t it make sense to learn how to quiet the mind and slow down thinking without relying on pills or anything else?

When Thoughts Refuse to Settle

Overthinking doesn’t just keep our minds busy—it creates a cycle where our thoughts fuel our emotions, and our emotions fuel our thoughts. This loop can spill into every part of our lives, making it nearly impossible to switch off and truly rest.

Your brain doesn’t distinguish between real and imagined threats. It reacts to stressful thoughts the same way it would to actual danger. If you’re constantly playing out “what if” scenarios or going over past conversations in your head, your nervous system stays on high alert, as if something urgent is always just around the corner.

Stress and overthinking don’t just affect the mind—they subtly change the way we breathe. Without realizing it, our breath becomes faster and shallower and moves into the upper chest. Sometimes, we even hold our breath or sigh more often. You might notice this while reading emails, scrolling through your phone, or trying to get through a long to-do list.

On the surface, the solution seems obvious—just stop overthinking. But the real challenge is that most of us don’t even realize how much time we spend lost in thought. The mind wanders automatically, pulling us into worries, past regrets, and imagined scenarios.

So, how do we break this cycle? How do we stop overthinking and quiet the mind?

It starts with paying attention to both our thoughts and our breath. Noticing when we’ve slipped into overthinking. Recognizing when our breathing has become shallow or tense. You don’t need to control your thoughts; you just need to notice when you’re caught in them. The moment we catch ourselves in that pattern, we have a choice: stay stuck in it or shift out of it.

A simple way to signal to the brain that the body is safe is by slowing the breath, especially the exhale. This sends a clear message: everything is okay. And when the brain gets that signal, it stops sounding the alarm. The body relaxes, the mind settles, and sleep comes much more easily.

When Stress Rewrites Your Breathing

Holding our breath could be linked to an evolutionary trait. It would make sense that if a predator were lurking nearby, we’d instinctively stop breathing to avoid making a sound that could give us away. In that context, holding our breath was a survival mechanism—one that might have saved our ancestors’ lives.

When this pattern happens over and over throughout the day, it sends a signal to the brain that something is wrong. And when the brain gets that message, it shifts into high alert—activating the “fight, flight, or freeze” response.

When we spend the day in this pattern—holding the breath, tensing the body, and keeping the nervous system on standby—our biology never truly gets the message that it is safe. The system stays braced for threat, even in quiet moments.

By the time we climb into bed, the body may be exhausted, but the brain is still on guard, making it much harder to drop into deep, restorative sleep.

The Education We Never Received

For a species as intelligent as we claim to be, it is surprising and maybe even a little baffling that we are not able to stop thinking. We have sent people to the moon, mapped the human genome, and created artificial intelligence. Yet when it comes to something as personal and fundamental as quieting the mind, we still haven’t quite figured it out.

Yes, mindfulness and breathing are becoming more common in certain circles, but they’re far from mainstream. For most people, they’re still unfamiliar or feel out of reach, more like something “other people do” than everyday tools for managing stress and settling the mind.

The ability to manage the mind, to consciously direct our attention rather than being hijacked by an endless stream of thoughts, is one of the most valuable skills we could ever develop. It shapes everything—our creativity, productivity, success, and, most importantly, our happiness.

If our minds are always somewhere else, how can we give our full attention to what matters most? How can we do our best work, enjoy an experience, or really connect with the people around us when we’re caught up in thoughts that have nothing to do with the moment we’re in?

We train our bodies, pursue careers, and acquire knowledge, but we rarely take the time to develop the one ability that affects every aspect of our life experience: the ability to control what goes on in the head.

When we are young, the mind is locked onto the future. But as we grow older and realize there is less future ahead, our focus shifts. Instead of looking forward, we start looking back, replaying old events, analyzing what was, what could have been, and what we might have done differently.

In my late teens and early twenties, I was really into self-help books. I read all the big names at the time, Richard Branson, Tony Robbins, and the classics like Napoleon Hill. They all preached the same message: if you want to be successful, you need to write down your goals. Have a clear vision of where you want to go in life and go after it with everything you have.

So, like a good student of self-improvement, I made my own list. I wrote down everything I wanted to achieve over the next five years. My goals were probably the same as yours—getting into university, finding work I loved, meeting a wonderful partner, having a comfortable home, being financially secure, and living without the constant stress of not having enough.

One of my biggest goals was to go to university. This meant even more to me because I had originally left school for good at fourteen. Earning a degree felt like such an important milestone that I sacrificed three years to get to university and another four years at university to achieve that one goal.

I was always racing toward the future. My attention was almost entirely fixed on what was ahead. I was here, but I wanted to be there—at the finish line, holding that piece of paper in my hand. When I finally got the piece of paper, I wasn’t sure I felt the happiness I had expected.

I remember feeling strangely empty. This was something I had worked so hard for, something that had felt so important to me, and yet it didn’t bring the joy or celebration I had imagined. I didn’t even feel relief. I was left wondering, “Is this it?”

Awareness is growing. More and more people are realizing that we don’t have to live stuck in our heads. And once these ideas get repeated often enough, they stop feeling new. They start to feel normal.

I spent thirteen years in formal education, and in all that time, only one teacher ever led us through a short meditation session. His nickname was “Hippy,” which pretty much sums up how we saw him. He had a scruffy gray beard, long hair tied back in a ponytail, and wore the same oversized woolen jumper every day—complete with holes in the elbows.

I still remember that session clearly. He guided us to shift our focus away from our thoughts and onto our breath. It was so different from anything else we had ever been taught. Like most teenagers, I thought it was a bit “out there.” But the fact that I still remember it all these years later says something. Maybe, without realizing it, he planted a seed. One that took years to grow but, in some way, shaped the path that led me here today.

And now I wonder: did he have any idea of the impact that one session might have had? A simple breathing practice might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, it could become a tool for life; something a young person turns to in moments of stress, panic, or overwhelm.

Imagine a life where everything feels a little softer, a little less overwhelming, where sleeping pills and other coping mechanisms aren’t the default solution. That’s a return on investment that’s hard to ignore. And even if the message doesn’t land the first time, I don’t believe it’s wasted. Sometimes a lesson has to be heard a few times, from different angles, before it really sinks in. But when it does, it can change everything.

Rethinking the Pyramid of Needs

You’ve probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs—that famous pyramid that lays out what we, as humans, need to thrive. Psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced this idea back in the 1940s, and at the time, it made a lot of sense.

He argued that human needs are built in layers, starting with the basics: food, water, shelter, and safety. Once those are covered, we move up to social belonging, self-esteem, and, at the very top, self-actualization—essentially, reaching our full potential.

Back then, securing basic survival needs was a daily struggle for many. But today, most of us aren’t waking up worried about where our next meal is coming from or whether we’ll have a roof over our heads. So, if our fundamental needs are already met, why aren’t we all thriving at the top of the pyramid—fully engaged, fulfilled, and operating at our highest potential?

You can have food, shelter, and even financial stability, but if your breathing is off, your sleep is broken, and your nervous system is in a constant state of stress, the pathway to self-actualization becomes much harder to access.

Let’s take a closer look at Maslow’s key stages through this lens:

• Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, sleep, and breathing). Maslow’s foundation includes basic survival needs, but we need to go beyond just having a place to sleep; we need to focus on the quality of that sleep. A solid night’s rest depends on breathing through the nose, proper airway function, and a balanced autonomic nervous system. Chronic stress, irregular breathing patterns, and mouth breathing at night all disrupt sleep quality, making it harder to recover and function optimally.

• Safety needs (physical and psychological security). True safety isn’t just about avoiding danger; it’s about feeling secure in your own body. If your nervous system is constantly in a state of “fight, flight, or freeze” due to stress, sleep deprivation, or dysfunctional breathing, you’ll never feel truly “safe,” even if your external environment is stable. Poor breathing habits like breathing too fast, too much, or through the mouth keep the body in a subtle state of stress, preventing real physiological calm.

• Love and belonging (connection with others and self). Our relationships thrive when we’re present, engaged, and emotionally regulated—all of which depend on how well we breathe and sleep. When we’re exhausted or mentally overstimulated, we’re more reactive, less patient, and connection becomes harder. But love and belonging aren’t just about our relationships with others—they also include the relationship we have with ourselves. How we breathe, how we manage our emotions, and how much we live in the present moment all shape our ability to give and receive love. Here’s the thing—how can you fully love your partner if the mind is constantly caught up in negative thoughts about them? And more importantly, how do you know those thoughts are even true?

• Esteem (confidence, self-worth, and achievement). A strong sense of self-worth is difficult to develop when your energy is depleted from poor sleep, the mind is overstimulated, and your nervous system is constantly on high alert. Confidence doesn’t just come from achievement—it comes from how you feel. And how you feel is directly tied to how you breathe, how you sleep, and how balanced your nervous system is.

• Self-actualization (reaching full potential and living with purpose). At the top of Maslow’s pyramid is self-actualization—the ability to fully express who you are, contribute meaningfully, and operate at your highest level. It’s about becoming who you’re capable of being. But self-actualization isn’t something that simply clicks into place once your basic needs are met. It requires a deeper connection to yourself, the ability to pay attention, stay present, and act in alignment with what matters most. You might have everything in place on the outside, but without internal calm and clarity, you can still feel off-track.

Maslow’s framework is valuable, but it becomes clear that the foundation includes breathing well, sleeping deeply, and keeping the nervous system in balance. Without these, it’s difficult to feel safe, connected, or confident—let alone reach our full potential.

From Restless Mind to Restorative Sleep

And the reality is, we can’t expect to sleep well at night if the mind is overstimulated all day. If we’re constantly stuck in thought loops, breathing dysfunctionally, or living in a state of chronic stress, our nervous system doesn’t just shut off because we’ve climbed into bed.

That’s why the practices we’ve explored—paying attention to the breath, bringing awareness into the body, and stepping into the present moment—aren’t just for mindfulness; they’re essential for good sleep.

Because sleep isn’t just about closing your eyes; it’s about allowing the body and mind to shift into a state of restoration. And that starts long before bedtime.

So, if there’s one thing to take away, it is this: get out of your head. The mind is a powerful and beautiful instrument, capable of incredible things. But when left unchecked, it can also work against us, especially when it interferes with the most basic functions like sleep. And when sleep is affected, everything else begins to unravel.

Clarity, energy, mood, focus: all depend on a mind that knows when to switch off.

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Patrick McKeown is the creator, CEO, and director of education and training at Oxygen Advantage®, and director of education at Buteyko Clinic International. He is a globally respected expert in breathing science, with over twenty years’ experience training people to breathe for better sleep, resilience, mental clarity, and physical performance.

A fellow of the Royal Society of Biology, Patrick has helped thousands of people across the world improve their breathing to overcome sleep disorders, anxiety, poor concentration, and chronic health issues.

He is the author of numerous books on breathing, including international bestsellers in the fields of respiratory health and performance. Patrick has dedicated his life to making breathing science both accessible and actionable. With a deep passion for empowering others, he works tirelessly to break down the barriers that stand between people and better health. His mission is to help more people breathe better, feel better, and live better—every single day.

For more on how to Breathe Better Now, visit: OxygenAdvantage.com and ButeykoClinic.com

Well Being Journal adapted the above excerpt from The Breathing Cure for Better Sleep by Patrick McKeown. Copyright © 2025 by Patrick McKeown. Reprinted with permission from Humanix Books, a division of Humanix Publishing, LLC.